Aliens. Damn it, it’s always aliens. I’m not talking about the boarder crossing kind, I’ve got no problem with them. Hell, most of them are smarter than me anyway. I’m talking about space aliens.
12 steps… seems like that should remind me of something…
I hate Christmas.
Getting old sucks. I can’t hear. I can’t see. I forget what I was doing.
I realized too late in life that I was born to lead the life of the idle rich like a trust fund baby. But my parents screwed me over by being poor.
It’s morning in America and it’s time to wake and bake and start down the highway to a better America. So, Tippecanoe and a beer too and vote for me.
Grandpa Rufus was the wisest man any of us had ever met until then, but when you’re 10 you’re not burdened yet with knowing everything like when you’re 16.
Toilet paper is flying off the shelves again. I didn’t understand it the first time and I don’t get it now.
If you don’t think you’re stupid maybe you should look it up, you might learn something about yourself.
Thomas Adams says it’s terrifying to hear “the average citizen exclaiming without any thought, ‘There ought to be a law!’ and then vote without any thought.”” I say so what?! There probably ought to be a law!