There Ought To Be A Law

Thomas Adams says it’s terrifying to hear “the average citizen exclaiming without any thought, ‘There ought to be a law!’ and then vote without any thought.”” I say so what?! There probably ought to be a law!

Airlines require that I buy two tickets because I weigh a pound or two more than the next guy. How is that right? I’m horizontally challenged so I should be discriminated against? Should I be shunned and forced to pay a “tax” because I’m smart enough to make myself famine resistant? How’s it my fault that cheese deep fried in fat and dipped in sugary tomato sauce tastes so damn good? Blame God and charge Him. I don’t care if the person next to me has to feel my jelly like fat rubbing against them on an eight hour flight, that’s their problem. Hey airlines, I’m only one person! There ought to be a law!

I shouldn’t have to hear my doctor call me clinically obese or anyone else call me fat. What the hell? Telling me to put down the fork is like telling a murderer to put down the gun. Has anyone ever thought that if someone didn’t make the fork maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have eaten that plate of pasta? I have the right not to be told I’m fat when I’m not the one who made the fork or gave me so many options at the grocery store. What choice did I have? Blame Walmart. Hell, I should be applauded and get a tax break for saving jobs at McDonald’s. It’s my right not to be told to put down the fork or hear someone call me fat. And what business is it of my doctor’s anyway? I didn’t ask for his opinion. Hey Doc, piss off! There ought to be a law!

Why should my kids, at least the ones I know of, should be graded in school? They’re disadvantaged! I don’t have the time sit down and help them with homework. I work hard for four to five hours a day so I can get paid for eight! I’m tired when I get home and need to unwind for a few hours with some beers and sit back and fall asleep in my recliner watching Blue Bloods. It’s a mental health thing. It’s the schools that need to teach and it’s an unfair advantage when other parents help their kids with their homework.  Do they love their kids more because they help them? Who cares, it’s not my business. My kids deserve equal treatment and grades should be abolished; it’s only fair. Why should other kids have the advantage of “good grades” and have a better chance at getting into college to become doctors and engineers. It’s not my kids fault they don’t know as much as the kid that gets A’s. The schools need to teach, not give out grades to show who’s learned more than who. Screw grades! There ought to be a law!

Who am I going to vote for? Someone that understands my right not to do anything and not be told something I don’t like to hear and make laws to create those rights? Or someone who’s going leave me on my own to raise my kids and have to listen to idiots who aren’t smart enough to know I’m the one who’s right? To Thomas Adams I say, damn right there ought to be a law! And I vote!

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