Toilet paper is flying off the shelves again.  I didn’t understand it the first time and I don’t get it now.

Who the hell is that full of shit? Are you only eating refried beans and drinking prune juice?

I know there was just an election and we all got sprayed with shit, but really!?

Is all the toilet paper being sent to the White House?  Not just for Trump, ‘cause I can guarantee whoever the next guy is will need just as much. C’mon man!

I guess Giuliani has to wipe with something. He’s so full of shit it’s dripping down his head!

Did a Kardashian get another butt lift?

Maybe all that ice cream is finally going through Pelosi.  BTW, is she still alive or does she always look like that?

Maybe that new political TP party is sending every politician in the country a roll in protest. Can you even imagine how big the water bill is in Congress? Hey environmentalists, if you want to save a tree, help abolish Congress!

Probably Adam Schiff. He always looks like he’s trying to squeeze one out. Last time I looked like that my doctor gave me an emergency colonoscopy.

Maybe Al Gore got sick of getting splinters using an environmentally friendly stick to scrape his ass and broke down and bought a roll.  Wonder if he bought some carbon credits to offset his purchase of Charmin.

Gotta wonder if Sheryl Crow ate spicy food and needed more than one square.

Michael Moore?? Just sayin’.

Maybe the “peaceful protesters” in Portland are going to TP the city instead of breaking windows.

Did Justin Bieber, Ed Sheeran and every “rapper” under 30 finally listen to the shit they’ve been putting out?

Whatever is going on, it has to stop.  There’s a lot of us out there full of shit and what the hell are we going to do if we run out of toilet paper?  I know what I’m going to do, I’m going to find the nearest asshole hoarding toilet paper and drag my ass across their living room carpet.

For you dumbasses hoarding toilet paper, if you’re more full of shit than you were before you may need to rethink your recent life choices… and see a doctor.

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