In talking negatively about a friend, colleague or acquaintance with someone, we can frequently think that we are building camaraderie. After all, mutual concerns frequently bring people together as allies. However, the strategy is deeply flawed, because it causes us to think you’ll do the same to us when we are not present.
“To retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent.”- Stephen R. Covey
Instead, heed Mr. Covey’s advice and be loyal to those that are not present. Speak of them positively or simply refrain from speaking about them all together.
There are times where you must speak about people that are not present. In those instances, ensure that you speak about the person in their best interest. You can speak about someone’s shortcomings with empathy and respect. Thinking of ways to help them.
Always speak with respect.
A quick litmus test for seeing if you are on the right side of this equation might be: If you have the courage to go to them directly and tell them what has been said, you are probably speaking with enough respect.
Your honorable choices when someone is not present are:
- Speak about them positively.
- Refrain from speaking about them.
- Speak in their best interest.
- Always speak about them with the utmost respect.
Observe these simple guidelines and you will make profound investments in your interpersonal relationships. Tough to do, but well worth it.
Just my opinion. What do you think? Let me know in the comments.
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